Intimacy and the Christian Marriage

The topic of sex and physical intimacy in churches and Christian marriages is not always a real open topic. However, did you know the Bible speaks about it many times? God created sex! He also created some healthy parameters for it, which unfortunately have been tainted and warped by the world. My goal, however, is not to tackle that particular issue here.

If I can be straightforward, I’d like to offer this thought to you. If you are married, you should be having sex with your spouse (assuming you are physically able). Physical intimacy in marriage is a good thing, for many reasons. In fact, in many cases, the absence of a healthy sexual relationship can be an indication of other marital problems.

Disrespect, neglect, immaturity, selfishness, financial troubles, and other stresses put a strain on marriages and intimacy. I know a marriage counselor, and one of his bold, first questions to couples in his office is, “How is your sex life?” He says the answer to that question reveals a lot.

As a married couple, both husband and wife have a duty to make emotional deposits into their spouse’s life. One of the ways to do that is through sexual intimacy. In many marriages, it becomes fairly obvious at some point, sex is higher on a man’s “wish list” compared to what is on his wife’s list. However, women have a deep need to be loved and to have emotional connection. Physical intimacy can help to fulfill these desires for women.

Men, if you are not making emotional deposits of other kinds into your wife’s heart, that is unwise! Your wife’s desire for sex may be diminished as a result. On the flip side for women, be physically available to your husband. By serving the other person’s needs, you invite them to return the blessings and favor.

Other emotional deposits could include setting aside date nights, making your spouse feel special in various ways, gifts, words of encouragement, honoring them, affirming their good qualities, completing a chore that would normally be the other person’s job, showing non-sexual affection, spending time together with hobbies, or sending them a love note.

Let your fountain be blessed,  And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
~Proverbs 5:18-19

Be fruitful and multiply!