Boomer Style Magazine
 

Emily Browne

Battle of the Bulge

April 28, 2012 by boomerstyle in Emily Browne with 0 Comments

Emily Browne in her bathroom, where shock and awe keep happening, is measuring the bulge that keeps growing around her tummy. Photographer Dawn Bonner

 

 

 

 

 

More to Love

Dawn Bonner

As of this writing, there is more to love of Emily Browne than ever before.

Statistically, University of Michigan’s Health System says based on lowest mortality rates regarding weight that unless Emily Browne is 6’ 4” tall, she is between 52 to 65 pounds overweight.

 
In the Beginning…:

The beginning of Emily Browne’s weight issues started sneaking up on her when she had to take some new medications for a health issue. She put-on 17 pounds in one year and it hugged her body as if it were one of her beloved cashmere sweaters. It was not very disconcerting, as she was a bit too thin to begin with. Although, she did notice her stamina was slightly reduced.

Shortly thereafter, she quit nicotine and caffeine. Her weight didn’t change for about two months and then all of a sudden it started to amass exponentially.

 
Shock and Awe
 
At the same time the world was experiencing ‘shock awe’ much further away from home, Emily Browne was also experiencing it firsthand with her bathroom scale. To her chagrin, each week as she stepped on the scale it read six to seven pounds more than the week before.

Everyone told her this was to be expected the first year or two of smoking cessation but it would stop and soon she would be back to her thin self; only this time as a non-smoker. So, Emily Browne relaxed and enjoyed her freedom from the slavery of cigarettes.

Well, after six and a half years, they were right the weight did balance out, but it’s doubtful Emily Browne will grow a foot taller anytime soon in order to be at her ideal weight.

 
Incredibly Voluptuous

Not only is Emily Browne now incredibly voluptuous, she has a lack of energy. Emily Browne says concentrating is harder due to brain fog. She also reports that her stamina and endurance are low. Her favorite clothes do not look good on her anymore; even her favorite heels are getting tight and uncomfortable; horror of all horrors.

Emily Browne decided to reverse this weight gain thing. After all, if she could give up her best friend the nic-stick, she could certainly get rid of the body she didn’t recognize anymore.

 
The Health Club Thing

Her husband, the dear, bought her a ‘lifetime’ membership at the local health club. Emily Browne used the trainer included in the package and for about three months did well. She got into a groove of working out three times a week for an hour and a half doing cardio and weights. Emily Browne could see tone starting to happen and even though she was so sore her hair follicles hurt, the scale read the same as when she started at the gym. To make matters worse, she had to buy the next size up in clothing. Oh dear, poor Emily Browne.
 
The Yoga Thing

She enrolled in yoga classes and Qigong classes. Five days a week Emily Browne exercised. OMG, she felt so wonderful, and after the first month and a half and she could walk normally again. Her breathing improved, she slept better, had an enhanced agility, and her attitude was upbeat. She absolutely beamed. Emily Browne lost two pounds in four and a half months.

Her yoga instructor said, “The muscles underneath the body fat are toned, if you modify the calorie intake and do fat burning cardio work-outs, those gorgeous abs will be able to be seen.”

Emily Browne knew the yoga instructor was accurate. BUT…it was inventory time at work which required an extensive amount of overtime. Emily Browne and her husband were redoing their landscaping at home, plus her daughter needed her to help with the grandchildren for a few weeks while her son-in-law was out of town.

 
The Weight Loss Thing

The weight loss thing, forget about it. Doing her best Scarlet O’Hara production, Emily Browne said, “I’ll think about it tomorrow.”
 
Overflowing C
 
After six different brands of weight loss pills, plus patches and lotions and potions—Emily Browne’s weight did change. She gained the three pounds back, plus another two pounds on top of that. The only thing that did get lighter was Emily Browne’s wallet by approximately $2,000.00.

 

Emily Browne figured out this was no easy beast to get rid of. She weighed more than before she started her diet and exercise regime and now was at her highest weight ever.


A few months later Emily Browne decided to get serious about getting that triple D cup down to an overflowing C. After seeing Dr. Oz talk about the acai berry and coming across several articles about the beauty of AcaiSlim; her cup ranneth over with joy at all the promises AcaiSlim had to offer.
 
Miracle in a Bottle

Emily Browne ordered her miracle in a bottle. The day it arrived, she tore open the package and read the instructions. DIRECTIONS: As a dietary supplement, take 1 capsule of AcaiSlim 2x per day, approximately 30 to 60 minutes before your morning and afternoon meals. Consume at least six 8-oz. glasses of water per day. Read the entire label before use and follow directions. Do not exceed 2 capsules in a 24 hour period. Do not take within 3 hours of bedtime. If you begin to experience weight loss in excess of one pound per 24 hours, temporarily discontinue use.
 
Okay she thought, I can follow directions. Her mornings consisted of grooming, then dashing out the door to the office. If she got the opportunity to eat lunch it was a lucky day. By the time Emily Browne got home from work, she was famished; she would wolf down dinner and realize too late, her AcaiSlim was still in the jar.

Eventually, she started to remember to take her AcaiSlim right before she left for work, enabling it to be working in time for her morning coffee and pastry. Emily Browne also kept a bottle at work (no, not vodka) and before leaving for home, faithfully took her AcaiSlim. She noticed a decrease in appetite, more energy, and OMGosh a pound lighter on the scale.

Hmm…

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