Robin Hoselton

Accent plant: A plant that adds interest to the garden. A silly expression–ALL my plants add interest.

Bare root: A naked twig with no soil. Nurseries frequently ship this way, so those roses you ordered have to soak in the bathtub because you didn’t get around to pre-digging their holes.

Coffee grounds: Rich nutrients that wake up azaleas, blueberries and gardenias. Why buy acid fertilizer when you can support Juan Perez in Colombia.

Deadhead: Nope, not a dope. It means to snip dead flowers–a good way to release that murderous impulse when you’ve had an argument with your spouse.

Exfoliating: Unlike sunburned skin which sometimes sheds or exfoliates, exfoliating trees are pretty–birches, for example.

Fairy ring: Toadstools growing in a circular pattern causing the grass to die. Yank them up; the little fairies will have to find somewhere else to sit

Green thumb: A person has this condition when plants flourish under his/her care. It’s a misnomer and should be known as dirty fingernail syndrome

Holding bed: An area where plants are held temporarily until you figure out where in heck to put them.

Invasive: Any of those cute plants that your neighbor gave you and neglected to mention that they are a real bitch to keep from spreading into the next county.

Jardiniere: A highfalutin word for a large flower pot. Probably used by people who employ gardeners to manicure their lawns.

Killing freeze: This is when the temperature drops and kills your expensive tender babies because you forgot to cover them with sheets before you went to bed.

Limbing up: Removing the lower branches of a tree supposedly to improve air flow and create less shade, but it’s really to keep you from smacking your noggin.

Medium: Not a fortune teller but a soil or potting mix although the other medium could be useful to foretell if a plant will thrive in your garden before you spend money for it.

Native plant: Vegetation that grows naturally in a specific region, also referred to as “Plant ’em & forget ’em”.

Odoriferous: Strongly scented and highly subjective. What might be pleasant smelling to one person might gag a maggot.

Perennial: A plant that survives winter and doesn’t have to be replanted. Annuals, on the other hand, are a yearly chore, much like IRS tax forms.

Quarantine: Isolating a sick or bug-infested plant. Frankly, if my plant was that bad off, I’d euthanize it and put us both out of misery

Victory gardens: Vegetable gardens that people planted during World War II. Today’s term is “edible landscape.” However, anything that grows well in my garden is a victory.

Weather forecasting: Guessing the chance of rain, snow or sun. Some depend on TV or the Farmer’s Almanac, but the most reliable method is to look out the window.