Love and Marriage cover page

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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, ‘You’re only interested in one thing,’ and you can’t remember what it is.
~Milton Berle

Kids. They’re not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
~Bill Maher

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor

I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
~Barbara Bush

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
~Rita Rudner

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!
~Drew Carey

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?
~George Carlin

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
~Socrates

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
~Helen Rowland